Teaching, Pride, and Disrespect Through the Lens of Jonah

One of the biggest areas of growth my first year of teaching was learning to work with students who flat out didn’t like me, particularly girls. My first two weeks were especially tenuous, as two different girls told me that they F*ing hated me or my class as they stormed out my door. (I sent neither of them to the office before hand, they decided they wanted to leave themselves.) At first I wondered if I was too abrasive, my rules too exacting, then I learned a bit of the history of the girls. Both had dropped out of school before and both had returned to try and complete their high school degree. One (we will call her Jane) was the daughter of a single mother basically raising herself and her sister, and the other (we will call her Eva) was well known around the school to be the female gang leader. After Jane left my classroom I called the office. Once the office got a hold of her she cursed at them too and ended up in ISS. She caused trouble in ISS, added to her time, and her answer to that was to drop out.

Eva was in my class until about semester, and we developed a very good relationship. She got in trouble with a few teachers and the school was mulling over options. The principle talked to me about her and I pleaded for her case saying I know she was behind, and she had some temper issues, but she seemed determined and really worked hard when she did set her mind to it. The office told her what I said, and she started to warm up to me. I also had her boyfriend in my ELO. Everyone told me to watch out, that I had the two gang leaders of the school in my class and that they would do everything they could to cause trouble. And it was hard to handle at first, but Eva did try exceptionally hard to catch up and graduate, and her boyfriend was a natural poet. He might have struggled with the language, but he had a passionate heart that sung in his writing. Both Eva and her boyfriend (call him Juan) dropped by semester.

I thought I had won by building a positive relationship w/ Eva. Then she left school. She was enrolled in online school, and I still pray that she completes that. I had built a great relationship with her boyfriend, connected to two of the toughest kids on my roster, and lost them both. I saw Juan just the other day playing basketball as I rode my bike past. He smiled real big and said hi. He dropped out to become a brick layer, enticing him with 15 an hour for hard manual labor. I hope in my heart he is doing well.

The heart breaking truth is most of the kids that didn’t like me for whatever reason, weren’t around by second semester. The drop out rate isn’t good, and it is the kids that it takes effort to teach that leave the school system. This year I haven’t been F bombed yet, and maybe that’s because I’m more comfortable with my control, maybe because I have a little credibility as a second year teacher, but overall I consider that a sign of my growth. I do however had students that are just as difficult, that can’t seem to get along with anyone, that don’t fit into the school system. I’ve had two girls tell me they don’t like me and request to leave for the office, and by what I’ve heard I’m not the only one they don’t get along with. What I did better this year was not getting in a power struggle. I talked to one girl in the hallway, tried to express that I was on her side, that I was willing to accommodate, and she still seems to hate my guts, but she has never blown up in my classroom and maybe one day she will give me the chance to build a relationship that can lead to her success. The other girl walked out of the room to the counselor, yelled at him, went to the asst. principal, and said enough to be put in ISS.

These are the students that would consider me the enemy, for whatever reason. These are the students that are at risk. These are the students I pray for the most.In church today we covered the story of Jonah, and how resistant he was to carry the message of God. Jonah’s resistance came from the fact that he recognized God’s word would save the people he gave the message to, and those people were his enemy. In the end God chastises his prophet for valuing his own hatred over God’s grace, that he let his pride and personal interest interfere with his God-given purpose.

As a teacher I can’t be a prophet for God, nor do I intent to, but the message carries over in an analogous application. My job is to educate my students, all of them, ‘whatever it takes.’ In analogy Jonah’s job was to send God’s message to God’s people, even if it was his enemy. My students sometimes resist me, and some create obstacles to successful classroom management, and if I allowed myself pessimism I could call them enemies, or at least impediments, to the goal-oriented environment of my classroom. However, like Jonah it is my calling to not let my pride, my personal bias, my pre judgments, or how these people have treated me get in the way of my mission. I need to accept that it is my calling to educate even the difficult, even those who don’t like me, those who don’t fit in the school, those who make the hallway rowdy, show up late to class, try to sleep through the reading… all of those I have been called to teach.

It would be easy to be selfish, say that if they can’t conform to the values of the dominant culture they will never get anywhere in life and look for ways to push them out of my classroom instead of spending lots of time, energy, and effort trying to save a student that might break my heart by dropping out. It would be easy to say there is no hope for a kid that can’t show up on time, flies gang colors in their back pocket, turns in 1 of 5 homework assignments, smokes weed, or can’t respect authority. But that’s not my job. It’s hard to win the battle with students who consider you the enemy, but it is never going to be my call to say who can’t succeed and I hope I never cut off my effort based on my own judgments. Like Jonah, I am not the one to decide who is or is not worthy. So while I hope I never get f-bombed to my face again, I do pray that whenever a student does show me resistance or treats me like an enemy that I try hard to find a way to make peace, create a relationship that learning can stem from. I’m not a teacher to make enemies, and when a kid doesn’t like me, I hope I try extra hard to find a way to keep the door open, because sadly enough doors will close without me pushing any shut.

So here is my prayer for the day:

God even if they spit on me in disrespect, please help me to never let my pride be more important than the value of a person. Even when I am disrespected please help me to see the love you have for all of your creation, be patient, and give your love another chance to take root.